Yesterday's yesterday, at about 1p.m., I was with bf on the train.
There were many many people on the train.
Bf suddenly looked into my eyes,
took my hands close to his chest and said: "Please. Please eat."
I looked down at my big thighs.
I looked down at my bulging tummy.
Bf said: "You're all skin and bones. It's disgusting."
I looked up at bf in disbelief.
I just want to be thin.
What is so wrong about that?
Bf said: "Two weeks. Two weeks to get back your original shape. Or, we're over."
I looked down at my fat tummy.
I looked down at my fat thighs.
It's impossible.
I can't eat more or I'll be fatter than ever.
I took my hands away.
Looked up at bf and said: "I'm sorry."
I walked towards the other direction of the train and looked out of the window.
My eyes smudged with eyeliner.
There were many many people on the train.
Bf suddenly looked into my eyes,
took my hands close to his chest and said: "Please. Please eat."
I looked down at my big thighs.
I looked down at my bulging tummy.
Bf said: "You're all skin and bones. It's disgusting."
I looked up at bf in disbelief.
I just want to be thin.
What is so wrong about that?
Bf said: "Two weeks. Two weeks to get back your original shape. Or, we're over."
I looked down at my fat tummy.
I looked down at my fat thighs.
It's impossible.
I can't eat more or I'll be fatter than ever.
I took my hands away.
Looked up at bf and said: "I'm sorry."
I walked towards the other direction of the train and looked out of the window.
My eyes smudged with eyeliner.
hey att. You're beautiful the way you are. If you keep skipping on your meals,you're gonna suffer from anorexia nervosa. Do you wanna be like those runway models? being skinny isnt as beautiful as you thought dear.
ReplyDeleteJust look at the positive side of life.
On the other hand,being fat does not mean your ugly.Just look at queen latiffa,tyra banks and those plus size models,they are still beautiful and curvy. Just keeping healthy and fit is all what you need. You are actually torturing your body right now dearest. Dont ever do that. Look in the mirror,there's a girl sanding right infront of you and said 'att,please help me.I'm dying of starvation.Please dont torture me this way' and that girls is your soul,your body.Darling,just watch your diet but dont ever skipped it.I care for people like you as my niece just passed away.she suffers from anorexia nervosa.she is 1.74m tall and weighs only about 23kg.How bad that is.Do talk to me in you need some advice aye. :)
take care gorgeous!
Heys.I'm just a passerby that happen to read this particular post of yours.I see what you are going through&i do understand why others simply don't get what it means by 'you just want to be thin'.I used to be suffering from anorexia because i always think that everything i eat will just make me fat and i started forcing myself to vomit.And everytime someone said i look thinner,i was proud.Thinking starving and eating and vomiting were the answer to being thin.Honestly speaking,i thought i was perfectly normal and being thin was really cool to me.But one day,i fainted and it almost caused my life.My mom cried thinking she wasn't doing her job in feeding me well and whether it was her fault for not stopping me from doing all this.I couldn't bear watch someone who loves me alot taking the blame for all the useless and harmful thing i was doing to myself.Since i find consuming normal food difficult because my throat was all coarse,i started eating porridge.Taking one step at a time,i started eating normal food again and i always wondered how the hell could i missed all this delicious foods.Liked angeline said,you need not skip your meal.You just need a balance diet.You can go seek a dietician if you're unsure on a healthy meal.And you know what,skipping meals just make you even more fatter.Believe me on this:) I'm not making this story up and neither am i proud to be an anorexic.Everytime i tell my friends about anorexic,they will always think i was childish and immature.And thinking back,yes i was.But now,im happy to say "I'm not!" and the bestest part is,i can wear all the designer clothes since they are all Size 4 and above!
ReplyDeleteYou should take care of yourself and not only think of yourself,think about others who care:)
Hey..u're really fine d way you are rite now..hmm..but i noe..u wld stil b picking on urself despite wat ppl say..soooo..i wld advise u..dat instead of starving urself..tone ur body instead..its betta..
ReplyDeletei heard from abdul too, that you look like some one who drugs now, very thin. Now, isnt that hurtful? Well babe your my lovely gf, and i really don't want to hurt you but do you really want to get all these comments from people ?
ReplyDeleteBeing stick thin is not beautiful, unless your born with it and you can't do anything. Common before losing a lot of weight i envied your body so much, its perfect , slim with curves. Its not healthy to skip your meals because by the time you're cure from this you gonna eat normally and gain everything back, you can actually eat what ever you want as long as you exercise please please please do not listen to what people have to say if they say your fat then their bloody blind, heard that bloody blind.
I bet shaz is freaking worried for you but sometimes guys don't really know how to put it in words So please get healthy ok? You always have me if you wanna hit the gym or anything as long as you eat properly. Love you tik.