Paris is a lousy kitty! She can't even catch a cockroach!
At times like this, I just want to throw her in the bin or something.
Okay, so here's my story.
It was 3.16a.m. in the morning, she licked my left cheek with her sandpaper-like tongue.
I had no choice but to wake up, if not she'd scream her high-pitched scream in my ear.
So I woke up.
Gave her some biscuits to eat in the kitchen.
And then, I heard this "creek creek" noise.
So I turned 35 degrees to my right.
And there it was.
A huge huge cockroach, bigger than my toe.
I screeched in utter disgust!
I said: "Go Paris! Keeeeeeeeeeell it!!!!!! KeeEEEEllll it!
So she ran after that huge cockroach.
Spanked him here and there with her right paws.
Mr Roach, weakened by Paris' strong and mighty force, scrambled for his life!
He ran.
Paris ran clumsily after him.
And he got away!
Mr Roach managed to squeeze under the storeroom's door.
Paris missed him by inches.
I opened the storeroom door.
I said: "There Paris, there!!!!!"
As dumb as Paris Hilton is, she was still trying to get Mr Roach from outside the storeroom.
So I had to carry her into the storeroom.
She gave two spanks to Mr Roach.
Mr Roach hide underneath the door.
Paris missed him again!
She suck.
Paris is the suckiest kitty in the world!
So she didn't manage to kill Mr Roach.
I was pissed.
Very pissed.
I mean, a cockroach is meant to be killed.
So Mr Roach got away.
He's still in the storeroom.
So do my heels.
And I'm supposed to wear heels today.
And I don't dare to get in the storeroom because there is Mr Roach.
So I have this drama audition for MediaCorp today.
Again.
They always call me to go for drama auditions eversince my Anugerah days.
But whenever I go, they realise that I can't bloody act!
And they reject me!
I mean, they can just make me be someone who sells 'tah huay' at a coffee shop or something.
I'm perfectly happy with just that.
But nooooooooooo.
They REJECT me!!!!!!!
You know I don't ask much.
I don't have to be a bloody sobby teary lead actress.
I just want to be on TV.
That's all.
Owhkay. I better stop rambling before everybody thinks that I'm a loser.
I mean, I am a loser, but that doesn't mean I have to declare publicly that I'm a loser, right?
Owh gosh.
My life sucks.
I'm such a loser.
Okay, so here's my story.
It was 3.16a.m. in the morning, she licked my left cheek with her sandpaper-like tongue.
I had no choice but to wake up, if not she'd scream her high-pitched scream in my ear.
So I woke up.
Gave her some biscuits to eat in the kitchen.
And then, I heard this "creek creek" noise.
So I turned 35 degrees to my right.
And there it was.
A huge huge cockroach, bigger than my toe.
I screeched in utter disgust!
I said: "Go Paris! Keeeeeeeeeeell it!!!!!! KeeEEEEllll it!
So she ran after that huge cockroach.
Spanked him here and there with her right paws.
Mr Roach, weakened by Paris' strong and mighty force, scrambled for his life!
He ran.
Paris ran clumsily after him.
And he got away!
Mr Roach managed to squeeze under the storeroom's door.
Paris missed him by inches.
I opened the storeroom door.
I said: "There Paris, there!!!!!"
As dumb as Paris Hilton is, she was still trying to get Mr Roach from outside the storeroom.
So I had to carry her into the storeroom.
She gave two spanks to Mr Roach.
Mr Roach hide underneath the door.
Paris missed him again!
She suck.
Paris is the suckiest kitty in the world!
So she didn't manage to kill Mr Roach.
I was pissed.
Very pissed.
I mean, a cockroach is meant to be killed.
So Mr Roach got away.
He's still in the storeroom.
So do my heels.
And I'm supposed to wear heels today.
And I don't dare to get in the storeroom because there is Mr Roach.
So I have this drama audition for MediaCorp today.
Again.
They always call me to go for drama auditions eversince my Anugerah days.
But whenever I go, they realise that I can't bloody act!
And they reject me!
I mean, they can just make me be someone who sells 'tah huay' at a coffee shop or something.
I'm perfectly happy with just that.
But nooooooooooo.
They REJECT me!!!!!!!
You know I don't ask much.
I don't have to be a bloody sobby teary lead actress.
I just want to be on TV.
That's all.
Owhkay. I better stop rambling before everybody thinks that I'm a loser.
I mean, I am a loser, but that doesn't mean I have to declare publicly that I'm a loser, right?
Owh gosh.
My life sucks.
I'm such a loser.
when you act, you have to believe what the character is going through is real, then you can express the required emotion.
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